Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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