You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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