Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
