Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
