we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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