you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
