Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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