I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
