what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
