dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
