He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
