Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
