I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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