Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
