we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
