Say something about gay babies.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
