I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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