Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
