I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
