is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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