Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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