dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You can't special order awesome
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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