Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize
