That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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