Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
