2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
