It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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