I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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