Only a mothe r could love this liver
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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