i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
