By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
