i permit you to call me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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