nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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