I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
