Nicole vs. Life
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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