peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize