god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize