one two three fourrrrnication!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
well you can't waste a boner
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
