So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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