You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
bring money and cleavage
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
