We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
