I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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