We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
