Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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