Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
