I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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