doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
