did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I could fuck to npr.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
