I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
