I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
