Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
