SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
