I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
