please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
