Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
