i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
