i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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