Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Girls should come with a carfax report
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
