I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
