Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just want nice things and good sex
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You did what with his pubic hair?
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