You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
