Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
