For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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