you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
