i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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