At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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