There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
