mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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