I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize