My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
