It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
