It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Randomize
