her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
