I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
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