once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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