like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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